sorry to leave you hanging

Well I know my last post wasnt to encouraging and left you hanging. I apologize for not following up to it sooner I have been busy with classes. The day after my last post I dug into those thoughts and emotions of doubt with a clear mind and realized that it was a challenge. Also talking to a few friends about it helped me see that as well. When it happened I was preparing a story to tell and I understand that God does not want me to misinterpret His word or misrepresent Him. I am going to start back on that message this weekend with a new and fresh perspective. Also I intend to speak to a few good friends/mentors about the approach and cultural relivance of the message. The story I intend to tell is about how God lead me to small group. I will fill you in on it more as it comes. I pray that I can deliever what God has chosen and I ask that you pray the same for me and for those who will be hearing it.

I pray for clarity

I dont want to discourage those who are following this and praying for me because God's plan is best no matter what happens and never forget that. I ask that you continue praying not only for me but also for the mission whether I am involved or not. This is what happened a little while ago while I was preparing for the mission...

I have this feeling of running right now and just ignoring what happened. I was reading the passage of the burning bush and Moses thinking about the story of how God lead me to small group and how I intend to tell it in Congo. as soon as I got to the point where God said "tell them I Am sent you" I was thinking about how God sent me to small group and then how I would say the same thing in Congo about how God sent me to them. As I began to find comfort in it my heart sank. I don't understand. Do You not want me to go? I fear that I am going when I am not supposed to. But I also have not raised all the money so technically i am currently not going and that could relate to James 3 and how I shouldn't plan tomorrow according to my will. I also fear that I don't go when I am supposed to. it took me longer to think that sentence out. I need to find comfort in that fact that it may be God's will for me not to go. I am talking too much now...

I don't know exactly what this means for me but do not stop praying as I will not stop til He says so. I will still participate in this mission as a sender if I am not supposed to go. I have an appointment to get my vaccinations on monday.