need a coupe of day

I am taking a couple of day off from this before I post more about the mission. I want to be authentic in my post and just need some time to process things with me right now. See you in a couple of days. -chris

Day of Rest

Day 7(here)
Well today is my first day off from work since ive been back. Slept in really late but not letting it continue this week. Last night I was talking with Rachael about how we should be practicing what we were teaching in Congo as it will also help us apply what God taught us on the mission.

Day 7 (Congo)
This entry is from the perspective of day because I fell asleep at 8:30. Slept through the team debrief because they couldn't wake me up. Sometimes you just gotta shake me to wake me.

Teaching my topic (sharing your faith) went a lot better than expected. They were following what I was saying and also Jessica did a great job with the demonstration and Josh added something to it as well. It really turned into something beautiful.

I really started to see change in our small groups and I found it very encouraging as well as exciting. They were answering each others questions and helping explaining things to each other. I didn't want to leave the group when it was time to go. Every question just opened a new door for one of us to share something different. Co-leading with Erin has been a blessing. Hearing her perspective on something and they way she breaks something down to explain it has really helped me get better at explaining things. Also she can also pick up on what I am trying to say and explain it differently and visa versa.

We went to one of the feeding centers. I got to see the children I have been praying for and who I think about when I am fasting. Their strength is incredible, I hope one day they see that it came from God. How can I complain about being hungry because I haven't had lunch yet when these children go days without food?

In the evening Erin, Fiston, Pastor (our driver) and I walked outside the gate of the guest houses into the city to get Erin units for her phone. It was really cool to be out in the city without the protection of the van or the whole team with us. I enjoyed that feeling of being exposed. I knew it was only a small amount of time but I would like to spend more time out in the city like that.

hard: "hard like wood?" or difficult?

Day 6 (being home)
Today I served at the MIC(missions information center) at church today. I was there to answer questions but everyone was asking me about the mission. I wasn't really expecting that to be all the questions I would be answering. I did tell one person about the perspectives class though.

I have really been redefining what "owning it" looks like in my life. By saying that I mean, in everywhere I serve, what can I do to glorify God more than I have in the past. Coming back from Congo has helped me realize how I can improve areas in my relationship with Christ and share His glory with others. It is very refreshing and exciting to see and understand this.

Also I am getting support from others already about returning to Congo. It was a little unexpected for it to be this soon but I know the steps I need to take.

Day 6 (Congo)
Today was a very difficult day for me. Being simple in terms of communication is a challenge for me that I was unaware of. Being science/math minded I can be very technical in my thinking so breaking it down to a simple understanding is difficult for me to do. This is something I want to work on in my life especially if I return to Congo.

I was brought to the point of crying from frustration twice today. Once in small groups and the second in preparing for my lesson tomorrow. I wasn't surrendering to God. I was trying to use my words, not let God speak through me. The team is doing a great job of surrendering and I want to follow the model that Christ set just as they have been.

The Congolese know so much about the Bible. I am amazed at how they can ask a question about a specific verse without having a Bible in front of them while I am busy flipping through my Bible trying to find out what it says.

I am beginning to realize that the things God is showing me and teaching me are for more than just here in Congo. I am suppose to bring them back to America with purpose. With time God will show me that purpose.

I can no longer let my personal struggles get in the way of what God is doing here. I have been suffering from jealousy of the leadership abilities of the other team members and I do not want to be jealous of them. They are my brothers and sisters and I want to learn from them.

"Day 5" here and there

Here
Today I was able to talk about the mission and what God is doing over there. I was getting excited talking about it. I have intentions of going back next year to continue the relationship that have been established. I received an email from Fiston yesterday. It was really exciting to hear from him and hear that he is getting rest since we left. Also he was telling me that the leaders are beginning to implement what we were teaching in their churches which is amazing to hear! I haven't even begun to look at all the video footage from the mission but will start on that this coming week.


Day 5 (Congo)
I shared my message with the Church of the Holy Spirit in Buholo today. The confidence that God gave we vas incredible. It was a very new feeling but I did not have the time to analyze it so I just went with it as I began to share my message.

I made a friend with a child named David and got to get to know one of our translators a little better. He name is Frank and I wish I could describe his personality to you so you would know how funny he is. After church they asked Rachel and I if we would lead the youth service. I was unprepared for that and let my worries take over my confidence. I understand what level of readiness that God wants me to be at now.

The amount of things we are doing each day is really showing the importance of writing in my journal. God is showing me so much that I am needing to write everything down just so I can process it all later.

Tonight we went to the worship service at the church in "industriale." That was incredible to just sing and dance. I had been looking forward to it for many months. I did get a bit carried away and someone (who I thought looked like Rick James) told me to calm down. Seeing all the children excited to sing and dance during the worship was truly amazing.

Driving through the streets all I see is one giant habitat project. I understand that the city needs Jesus more than it needs repair. Although this is fuel for me to finish my engineering degree that way I could possibly be able to help with repairs on the city one day, God willing.

down time

The internet has been down for most of the day so i was unable to post on here like I wanted to. BUT..... here is the little bit I did write.

I am challenging myself to be more intentional about telling people about the mission. I find myself wanting people to ask me about it but not everyone will or they wont as the questions I want. When we were in Congo we had difficulties getting our point across in the questions we were asking due to different cultural meanings of words. there are a lot of words we use in church that mainly people from our church would understand (ex. living transparently). I am not saying they are the only ones who understand them but if I can move away from using those words I can reach a larger group of people, not only in other countries but also right here in Wilmington.

"Day 4" and current

"Current"
Readjusting to the time change since we have gotten back has been challenging. Although today is the first day that I have slept in past 5am which has been nice. I forget how much Americans can make assumptions about other countries and now I am seeing it. I start back working tonight which is going to be interesting. I don't know what it will be like but I am ok with it. That is one thing God has shown me this past couple of weeks.

"Day 4"
The team meetings are a bit overwhelming. I feel like we keep trying to figure out too much at once and everyone is excited and going very fast. Its hard to keep up with at times.

I believe our small group went well and I can work with the responses that we were given. I just hope our translator is up to par.

The attacks are still there more so of the flesh and mind now. God will guide me through them.

I share my story tomorrow with a church and I am looking forward to it. It will not be easy but I feel the confidence that God has given me to stand up and say it.

"Day 3"

Although I am back now, I am going to update each day of the mission with a new post instead of one giant post. way too much to read. Also days 1 and 2 were spent traveling and I kinda touched base on it in the last post. so here we go.

It’s really exciting to be in Africa! The full experience has been setting in since this morning and it is wonderful. I could easily come back! Just finished taking off on the flight to Kigali. We are supposed to be careful about telling people what we will be doing in Congo which is kind of a bummer but I understand it is for safety purposes. The sky and clouds are extremely beautiful, especially when you can see the city below. When we flew from Raleigh, we me some students with campus crusade going to Beijing. I have no clue what God has in store for us once we get to Bukavu, but we will find out when it happens. It will be tomorrow morning when we cross the border, hopefully.

On the flight to Kigali I met a pastor from Australia named Brian. He was going to Uganda to teach pastors there the same thing we are trying to teach here in Congo. His son was born the same day I was. I thought that was pretty incredible.

Rwanda was so beautiful it was overwhelming. The travel throught was a long six hours and parts were unexpected. We had some youth come up to our van when we were stopped. I managed to tell one of them I didn’t speak Swahili, he told me he didn’t speak English, we both laughed.

We are at the border staying the night now and we have to cut all of our original plans of teaching times in half. FLEXIBILE! Finding bugs in my bed wasn’t fun but at least it’s a bed. I am starting to realize how easy it can be in the states. I will be using bottled water to brush my teeth all week as well as to drink. These are going to be very long days. God is really working us.

God really wants me to surrender everything to Him. I am trying to reverse my fight mode that accumulated from traveling.

halfway there....

Well I am really suprised that the hotel im in right now has wifi. We are staying the night in Addis Ababa courtesy of the airlines. Its 12:30 am here at the moment and 5:30 pm on the right coast. That was really long and cramped(space and people) flight. I brought things to work on and read during it but spent most of the time trying to sleep just to pass the time. Tomorrow we are flying to Kigali and taking a 6 hour van ride to the border where we will be staying in another hotel until the next morning when the border opens up. Clay's bag is missing and hoping to get it in the morning. We are hoping things get smoother once we finally get there. We are already trying to make adjustments to what we are going to be teaching. Need to go to bed though cause we are leaving here at 6:30.

the night before we leave.....

In a couple of hours I will begin the traveling part of the mission. Including layovers, we will be traveling for about two days to get there. I am looking forwards to this. Everything is starting to settle in: Traveling across the atlantic, whole new country and way of life. Its excitement and worry all at the same time. God will take care of us. I am ready, just a lot of wow factor with it. God has been ready! This past week has been great just receiving a lot of encouragements from my friends and family. God worked out this flight cancellation a long time ago and now I am beginning to see why He is doing these things. I had someone give me $20 saying "lunch in DC is on me" when at the time, we weren't suppose to be having lunch there because the flight hadnt been canceled yet. God is good! Erin is sick, but she saw the doctor and is still going. Please pray for her. Just gotta finish my in flight entertainment preparations now.

God says "wait"

Well the past 24 hours has been interesting. I was praying last night and told God that I was ready for this mission. It came out with confidence that wasn't from me. I find out today as I am getting ready for work that our flight from Ethopia to Kigali was canceled and now we will not be flying out until wednesday and are losing about 2 days from the mission. Although this helps me take care of somethings here, I am still upset about losing time on the mission. This is why we have to be flexible with our schedule, I just didn't realize our flight would get canceled. God is telling me that even though I think I am ready He has other plans. I pray that I can continue to let go of my frustration as God continues to prepare our hearts and the hearts of those who will be recieving us.

getting closer...

Well it turns out its just an ulcer on my tonsil. They are running tests on it to make sure it isn't anything but they went ahead and put me on antibiotics just to be safe. Either way I'm covered. Surrender is still my aim for preparation. The unknown keeps causing me to build expectations that I need to continue to drop as soon as they begin. I do not want to set myself up for disaster. Each day is a new level of readiness for me to achieve. Its funny I keep asking my other team members if they are ready when I am still getting ready myself. I believe we will all be ready on monday. I ask that you pray for us in our preparations. the spiritual attacks are coming daily and in order to overcome them we must submit ourselves before God to a whole new degree. I pray that our pride does not become our fall.

one week before we say bye

Its been interesting the past few days. Everyone keeps asking me about if I have a lot on my mind about the mission. Well I do but its not consuming my thoughts, I just want to do everything that I can to be ready for it. Also there are a lot of spiritual attacks that keep hitting me so that can take my mind off of preparation from time to time. Either way God still has a plan for me here while before I leave. Its nice getting to hang out with some of the guys from small group when I can. Also doing a lot of reading to help keep my mind at bay. Its also helping me get ready for the topic im teaching on the mission. It keeps my mind fresh. Im enjoying seeing the final pieces fall into place just before we leave. My only concern is that I have had a sore throat for about 5 days now only on one side. Its not too bad just concerns me. I am going to the doctor tomorrow. I have been drinking a lot of fluids and taking medicine but no real changes in my condition, although its the only symptom I have. I will keep you updated as the week progresses. I hope it goes by quickly.

Less than two weeks!

This semester is finally over. I have so much free time right now its a bit overwhelming to think about. I am doing my best to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the direction He is taking me in my final preparations for the mission. I am definitely excited to go, just need to be patient because as much as I am ready to be there, I am still here. This time now is God's time. May I learn from Him and for Him!

16 DAYS!

Well as crazy as it sound in 16 days I will be flying over the Atlantic Pond! Today was the last meeting before the mission and it was good to get an idea of where we will be going will ALL of the material we will be teaching. Since I am taking my moms netbook with me, I may make a couple of video blogs but I am not counting on internet access at all so if they don't get posted over there I will post them when we get back. As we are getting closer to leaving I have noticed that there has been a lot of spiritual attacks on each of the team members including myself trying to keep us from pursuing the mission. Whether its something with our families or health issues or both, the adversary is trying to use whatever he can to keep us from going and being effective tools of God. I pray and ask that you pray that we all stay focused on what God has in store for us as well as the people of Congo. Including the part of my life in my testimony has significantly changed the weight of that event in my life. I see how it has affected my decisions up until recent years and I am glad that I listened to God and included it. I cannot wait to go!

One Month Away!

We will be leaving in one month from today. As much as I am excited I have so much to do between now and then with school. Finals are right around the corner and I still have exams to take before then. My time slots for preparing are getting smaller with this mission as we get closer. I am finding myself having to decided if I need to be doing homework or preparing for the mission when I have a bit of free time. Work has been getting busier and I spent this past weekend training a new employee which has taken away from my time as well. God has blessed me with material for the topic I have been assigned which is "sharing your faith." One of our old small group studies has shed some new light on the material about how we each have our own style and I intend to really run with that since it resonates with me the most. I am really enjoying getting to know the rest of the team and how open we are with each others struggles in preparation for the mission and as we have been sharing our testimonies with each other as our individual stories will be a large part of this mission. I share mine with the team next week and after hearing others I understand there is more I need to include in mine. I have been struggling with the time when I was molested in the sense of including it in my testimony and its relevance. The more I have given it thought I am seeing how God used that to shape me into who I am today. It is incredible how fast God can work in our lives if you let Him. About a year ago I was telling my parents for the first time of how I was molested and today I see how God is using that in my life to glorify Himself. God is good!

"We come to serve, not to solve."

I took a political science class not too long after the genocide in Rwanda became an issue to reach the global press. We talked about it the class a couple of times and I thought we don't we go fix the problem. In my walk with God, He has shown me that I cannot carry other peoples struggles for them. Not only would I be preventing them from growing but I would be limiting my own growth. On this mission trip our goal is to serve the youth of Congo and show them that they can create activities, bible studies and that they can serve in their community for Christ. There are similar issues in South Africa and Mars Hill Church in Seattle has begun to do very similar things that PC3 is doing in Congo. Redemption Groups in Africa

quick update

Just so you know, God has provided the funds for me to go to Congo. I have 99.5% of the funds now. I am going to continue to raise funds and they will go towards the team, as I am looking forward to getting to know them better in preparation for this mission and also on it. I have posted a link to Erin's blog under inspiring stories called The Congo Chronicles. She went to Congo last year and is also on the team this year! I encourage you to check out her blog as well, she is a great example of how the mission doesn't end on the flight back. I thank you all for your prayers and support and ask that you continue to not only pray for me but for the team! We are seeking to do God's will on this mission as a group and as individuals!

Team Meeting #2

Well today we had our second meeting and it was really good. We got an idea of our schedule of what we will be doing each day of the trip. I couldn't help but get excited for the trip and as we got to the day we were going to leave I already found myself not wanting to leave and I haven't even gotten there yet. I do realize though that it is going to be difficult because they most likely will not open up to use at first or possibly even at all. We are trying come up with icebreakers before each of our meetings to help ease the tension. We will be working with the youth leaders during our meetings but there will be one day that we get to spend with all of the youth. We will be splitting up into pairs and sharing our testimonies/message at different churches in the area and will be expected to speak 20 - 30 minutes each. We will also be sharing our testimonies with the leaders of the youth. I have written mine down a few times and also told people but now I really need to fine tune it. My friend Chris will also help me with this (he took a perspectives class which has really helped him getting a better understanding of missions and sharing the Gospel). We will be sharing our testimonies with each other at the team meetings also to help us prepare. I ask that you pray for confidence for me and the team. I have never spoken in front of a church before and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Nervous or not I am still excited to go on the trip and see what God has planned for all of us.

sorry to leave you hanging

Well I know my last post wasnt to encouraging and left you hanging. I apologize for not following up to it sooner I have been busy with classes. The day after my last post I dug into those thoughts and emotions of doubt with a clear mind and realized that it was a challenge. Also talking to a few friends about it helped me see that as well. When it happened I was preparing a story to tell and I understand that God does not want me to misinterpret His word or misrepresent Him. I am going to start back on that message this weekend with a new and fresh perspective. Also I intend to speak to a few good friends/mentors about the approach and cultural relivance of the message. The story I intend to tell is about how God lead me to small group. I will fill you in on it more as it comes. I pray that I can deliever what God has chosen and I ask that you pray the same for me and for those who will be hearing it.

I pray for clarity

I dont want to discourage those who are following this and praying for me because God's plan is best no matter what happens and never forget that. I ask that you continue praying not only for me but also for the mission whether I am involved or not. This is what happened a little while ago while I was preparing for the mission...

I have this feeling of running right now and just ignoring what happened. I was reading the passage of the burning bush and Moses thinking about the story of how God lead me to small group and how I intend to tell it in Congo. as soon as I got to the point where God said "tell them I Am sent you" I was thinking about how God sent me to small group and then how I would say the same thing in Congo about how God sent me to them. As I began to find comfort in it my heart sank. I don't understand. Do You not want me to go? I fear that I am going when I am not supposed to. But I also have not raised all the money so technically i am currently not going and that could relate to James 3 and how I shouldn't plan tomorrow according to my will. I also fear that I don't go when I am supposed to. it took me longer to think that sentence out. I need to find comfort in that fact that it may be God's will for me not to go. I am talking too much now...

I don't know exactly what this means for me but do not stop praying as I will not stop til He says so. I will still participate in this mission as a sender if I am not supposed to go. I have an appointment to get my vaccinations on monday.

One Step Closer

Well today was the first team meeting for the trip. It was cool to finally get to meet the team and get an update about what has been going on in Congo. The gave us the book for the second step program and we will be using some stuff from on the mission as part of our objective. We are really hoping that they see us as coming along beside of the and helping them instead of us having something to give them. As of right now the unofficial dates for the trip are May 18th - 31st. My fund raising for the trip has come along further than I though. I need about $2000 to cover the rest of the cost of the trip. It is really cool to see God work like that in my own life. I have been talking to my friends about the mission and have also begun reading stories about other missionaries and what they have gone through. Its very encouraging to know that this unknown factor of whats going to happen is normal and is helping me to move beyond it and look to do what I can. I know that God is good and will provide the means necessary to do His will.